Lily and Zara

These are my kids – taken by my good friend, and awesome photographer, Tracey Nolan

Lily, the oldest was adopted from China, Zara from South Africa.

We had just come back from South Africa with Zara when Lily came home from school saying that she’d met her friend Elisabeth’s little sister “And they look EXACTLY the same”.

The adoptive parent in me went into panic mode…”if I don’t deal with this correctly, her self-esteem and sense of family connection will be lost forever.  The next few moments will direct her life toward happiness or a life of drugs and gang  involvement” (OK so I was a little jet lagged).  I gently took her in my arms, and explained that some siblings look alike and others don’t, but they’re all still family.

She said “you mean the way Zara and I look alike.”

Take a second and look at the picture again.

When I asked her why she thought she looked like her sister Zara she looked at me like I was out of my mind and said, “Because we both have the same colour hair and eyes”.

This kid should be working for the United Nations.

I love this story not only because my kid is so awesome, but because it reminds me that we find what we look for.

If we’re looking for things to separate us, we will find them.

If we’re looking for things to draw us together, we will find them.

If we’re looking for reasons to be miserable, we will find them.

If we’re looking for reasons to be happy, we will find them.

If we’re looking for situations to help us grow into the people we were created to be, we will find them.

What are you looking for?


It’s my birthday*. Happy Birthday to me…don’t worry, I won’t sing.

I have a new hero…this is William James.


Here was a guy with more than his share of false starts, wrong directions and tangents, the dude got a medical degree but never practiced medicine and abandoned an exploration trip of the Amazon while he was on the boat. His life turned around one year on his birthday, he decided to spend the year believing that change was possible, that he could get his crap together and make some changes.

I’ve tracked down his most important book The Principles of Psychology all 710 pages of it and have made it through the preface where he suggests that on a first reading you skip eleven chapters and read them later and refers to one of his chapters (on Space-perception) as a “terrible thing” and then goes on to tell readers where they can find an abridged version of it. Did I mention he was my new hero.

As I race into the second half of my first century (Yup, I’m 51 – did I mention it was my birthday?) here’s my promise to myself – and to you: I’m going to believe that big change is possible, not just for me, but for everyone. My life isn’t horrible, I certainly haven’t jumped ship half way up the Amazon, and you’ll be glad to know that I’m not licenced to practice medicine (though I could be talked into playing doctor with the right person), but there are things I’d like to change and I’m going to follow my new hero on this topic.

I’m also going to BLOG/VLOG on the subject – and any other topic that catches my interest – always open for comments and suggestions. Fire away, but for now I’m heading off to spend some time with William.

*Actually, my birthday was a few weeks ago, but I forgot to push “PUBLISH” so it never got posted…did I mention I’m a Luddite?

Update HERE!